Can I do it? And other doubts.

I'm having a bit of a freak out moment this week.  Did I take on too big of a goal?  Can i actually raise $10,000?  Can I actually run a marathon?  I'm not in the same shape I used to be, what if I fail?  What if I took on too big a dream?  What if I disappoint everyone?  What then?
What if I don't finish?  What if that van picks me up because I'm too slow?  Why isn't my time what it used to be?  What if I don't even raise enough money to get there in the first place?  What then?

I'm freaking out.  It's Summer.  For everyone else, summer seems to be about health.  For me, it's when I'm the unhealthiest.  As hard as I try, I can't always get a run in when I'm on a mission trip or at camp.  And eating healthy?  It's really hard when sugar, sweets, and fried food is being thrown at you from every angle.  I'd love to enjoy the farmers market and cook a healthy meal for myself, but the reality is that I'm stopping at Whataburger on road trips to and from youth events.  I feel so gross.
I was finally able to run this week, and my pace is the slowest it can be to finish the marathon.  That means, that I have to stay consistent or speed up for the next 20 some miles!  Usually there's room to slow down, but that's not the case here.
So, I'm freaking out.  I'm trusting God that I'm going to be able to raise the money, but honestly, I'm scared.  I need a big idea that pulls from the community, and not just people I know.  I've talked to a few restaurants, but even then I would have to sell tickets, and I only know a small group of people in SA.  Does anyone have any grand ideas?  My old house was the perfect place to have a garage sale, but I don't know if anyone could find me here.  What's something that you've seen done in the past that could be an epic fundraiser?

Really, I just need prayer.  Prayer that it all works out.  Prayer that my training gets stronger, that I get healthier, and that each run gets better.  Prayer that a big fundraising idea will come my way, and that it will be something I can do.  Prayer for these summer months that are busy and stressful, may I find time to train and to share my story with those around me.  God is in control.  For one reason or another, I am on this journey.  My plane tickets and room are reserved.  I'm going one way or another.  But I'd really like to be there to run.  I'd like even more to finish.

It's not about me, it's about the children.  It's not about me, it's about the children.  It's not about me, it's about the children.

Time to change my focus.